Who learned things in 2020? Was every day a new lesson for you?
2020 was probably a huge learning experience for all of us. When it comes to growing as a person and as a creative, I believe that we face the same lessons over and over again until we adequately learn them. 2020 has been a growing year for me personally and professionally. These are the important lessons I was faced with and either learned well or made headway on.
1 // Don’t be a hero.
I don’t owe it to anyone to burn myself out by trying to take on everything. I learned that I try to prove to the people around me that I have a good, strong work ethic by taking on more than I can handle, even when it doesn’t align with my values as a person or as a company. All it does is lead me to stress and burnout, and the truth is the people I’m trying to prove things to aren’t even watching and don’t really even care. There’s no point and whose hero am I really being?
2 // Your performance isn’t tied to your worth as a worker or as a person.
I learned so much about work ethic this year. In a sense, the above statement is totally wrong. If you suck at your job, your worth to your clients or your employer isn’t going to be much. I’m talking about my worth as in my place in the creative community, and my place in the world as an artist. Every so often, I have a day where I make terrible work, or things go differently than planned and I run a bit late. We all have our off days. This year, I decided that I’m not going to tie my worth to isolated incidents of less-than performance. I am still worthy of my professional community and my place as an artist.
3 // It’s a mistake to tie your fulfillment in your work to how much you make with it.
Making a living is important, and being profitable is a priority, but how much you make shouldn’t determine how much you like what you do. The problem with tying your fulfillment to your income is that there will always be years like 2020 where something takes a hit on your business. If your fulfillment is tied to your income, those years are going to be near impossible to get through. Finally, if your satisfaction in your work depends on your income, you have to ask yourself what you’re pursuing: money or the joy of the work?
4 // Your mental health is essential to your health.
Take care of your mental health. You’re not weak for needing a breather. You’re not a bad worker because you need a mental health day. You know how we take sick days? Consider a mental health day the same sort of thing: a day for your mind to rest, to heal, and to recover. Your body needs it and your brain does, too. (Seriously. Think about all your brain does in a day. It goes non-stop. Give it a break.)
5 // Collaboration over competition is empowering.
I’m not threatened by other creatives. I’m excited about their successes. I’m relieved when I see them get a crap ton of work after what 2020 did to us. It’s also not just in what you do for others, but in your attitude and your heart’s position towards others. I didn’t do anything at all for my colleagues this year. I just tried to encourage them, I cheered them on from behind my computer screen, and I hoped and prayed on their behalf. I want my community to succeed. It’s a lot less effort to support them because when they become my competition to the point where they’re no longer my community, I poison my business, and I make myself miserable.
6 // Staying home and away from people isn’t always easy, even for the most introverted of introverts.
When Iowa went into lockdown, I was a little excited that I was being told that I had to stay away from people and not leave the house. As an introvert, this is my natural habitat. Unfortunately, it wasn’t all I cracked it up to be. I miss going to Caribou, Burgies, or the library to work when I need a change of scenery, and that isn’t an option when those places are closed for dine-in/sit-in. What I miss is having the option. Not being able to change up my office took a toll on me, and is part of what taxed my motivation.
Closest I’m getting to a seat at Starbucks during a pandemic.
7 // Giving yourself grace is the key to staying sane and not overburdening yourself.
This goes along with the first lesson. You have to recognize your limits and decide that your limits are okay. Everyone has them, and the person who takes on the most stuff beyond their limit isn’t necessarily the most successful, but they are probably the most burned out. Feel free to take a few things off your plate. Say no to new projects. Take a week off. Give yourself the grace to do what you need to do. Do this ahead of time and don’t wait till you’re breaking with the weight of everything you’ve taken on.
8 // When you’re overwhelmed the hardest and most effective thing to do is start clearing your plate.
Speaking of breaking under the weight of what you’ve taken on, the best way to lighten the load is to start completing some of those tasks, and making headway on bigger projects. I found myself overwhelmed multiple times in 2020. The only way I managed that stress was by focusing on one task at a time and when that was done, moving on to the next. I set little goals. I set schedules and made calendars. Structure your time and focus on one task at a time.
9 // Running a company and working a traditional job is not the same as working two traditional jobs.
When I took the job at the hotel, I figured it was going to be working two jobs. I quickly learned that I was dead wrong. Transitioning from the stress of the hotel to the laundry list of tasks I had to do for my business. It became too much very quickly. Running a company takes the mental and emotional energy of about two full time jobs. At 35, I just don’t have it in me, and I’d rather focus on the things that are important to me than make a little extra money on the side. The big lesson I learned is that traditional jobs are just not for me and if I’m going to invest that kind of time, it needs to be something that fuels my business and fuels my soul.
The only way that to-do list is getting shorter is by you ticking items off of it.
10 // ASK FOR HELP.
Even Leslie Knope couldn’t do it all herself. She certainly tried, but she eventually relied on her peers. I don’t care if you can do it alone, you don’t have to. I struggle so hard with this. I am Leslie Knope before she realizes she needs help. Sometimes I don’t ask for help because I know it’s going to face me with hard decisions about my business. If you don’t ask for help, you will sink your business. I’m fortunate enough to have realized this early on. You can ask me for help.
11 // Any decision that comes with a high cost requires careful consideration
Another lesson I learned by taking the job at the hotel is that the cost to my business was too high, and I should have exercised some wisdom in my decision to take a part-time job. This actually applies to everything in business, whether it be a pivot in the business model, a rebrand, staffing, and personnel, or a big financial investment. Play it out as far as you can on paper. Identify potential roadblocks and scenarios that could be catastrophic to your business. Seek the wisdom of people you trust, of people who know business, and people who know your business. Don’t merely give it one think-through, see no problems, and pull the trigger. Take the time to carefully consider the decision at hand.
12 // Staying focused requires frequent breaks.
Did you know that the human mind is only capable of maintaining a productive focus for about 20-25 minutes? I learned that from a mental health professional. One mistake I frequently made was working for an extended period of time with no break (think several hours) and then being so mentally tired that I fall asleep at my desk. To resolve this doozy of a snoozy, I use an app called Tide to measure 25 minutes of work and alert me when it’s time for a break. This way I can mindlessly work, but still be alerted when it’s time to stand up and take a breather. As a result, I’ve been able to get more done, and be more productive. If you struggle with taking breaks and staying focused, try using an app like Tide to time your work and prompt you to take breaks.
Tide App. My BFF at work.
13 // Even when things in your bubble are pretty normal, what’s not normal outside can be taxing.
I work from home and don’t leave the house much, so since March things have been pretty normal inside my bubble. Outside my bubble it’s been the drain of a world caught in a pandemic. I thought things would be pretty normal and I could kind of carry on as usual. Unfortunately, social media and the internet bring that outside world into my bubble. Even though I wasn’t being directly affected by anything going on, I still absorbed it. I was surprised at how much that wore on me. It’s so tiring to live in such a chaotic world, isn’t it?
14 // Sometimes the words of hope you need are your own.
I felt a lot of despair this year. I feared for my community, I feared for my business, I feared and worried a lot. One thing that always brought me back to center was reading old journal entries, blogs and Facebook posts. Sometimes when I ask for advice, they turn it around and ask me, “If you were the one being asked for advice on this what would you say?” Revisiting the words of my past are a way of answering that. If you ever need advice, see what wisdom your past has to offer.
15 // The what-ifs never really end.
It’s such an understatement to say that running a company is hard work that those words almost fail to have meaning. Entering my fifth year of doing this, I am probably more wrapped up in the what-ifs than I have ever been. This is probably the most stressful period I’ve ever experienced in this journey. It never really gets less scary. I think the scary just changes. There’s always room to wonder what if, and if you’re going to get wrapped up in them, get wrapped up in wondering what if you succeed wildly?
16 // How to plan and prepare for a trade show
I did my first wedding shows this year and it was a blast! Preparing for it was a lot of work, and was kind of stressful, but it was still fun. I learned how to further integrate my brand into a new setting, and gained a better idea of how to talk about what I do. One of the most important things I learned was to start preparing for the show two to three weeks ahead of time. If you have a major project that needs to be done for it (like a giant wooden sign), start earlier. The first trade show is a ton of work up front but it also means you have less to prepare for the next one.
Our setup at the I Do Wedding Show!
17 // You have time.
One of the best quotes on marriage I have ever heard was from Ira Glass, and it’s a long one, but the gist of it is this: hard times shouldn’t send you running for the hills. You don’t have to have it figured out by a certain time. You have time to work through the hard stuff. You have your whole lives. This is also one of the best pieces of business advice I’ve ever received. Many people will put expectations and milestones and checkpoints in front of you, but you have to remember it’s not their journey. You may have to repeat goals and certain milestones may take you longer to reach, but don’t bail. You have time to work out the hard stuff. You have your whole career, or as long as you decide you want your journey to last.
18 // I’m afraid of doing all the right things and failing anyway.
This is a fear that I think every entrepreneur experiences, but people hardly talk about it. I’ve been experiencing that fear quite a bit lately. There’s not always a solution to that fear, and sometimes it’s overwhelming. Regardless of the outcome, I think being an entrepreneur requires us to have the courage to sit with those feelings, accept them, and decide what to do about them. This fear is that dark room in our house that is messy and dirty and no one is allowed in. We need to press into that fear. We need to go into that room and start cleaning up. Those hard feelings aren’t going to go away just because we ignore them.
19 // A good critique is invaluable, but don’t overhaul your business based on one opinion.
A critique is just that: an opinion. It’s an informed and educated opinion, and just like buttholes, everyone has one. Take every critique with a grain of salt. Take what works, leave what doesn’t. One person’s opinion will not make your break your business. When you get even a good critique, sit with it. Don’t jump to executing every word they said and revamping your business because someone had an opinion. Be discerning enough to take what’s good and leave the rest, and patient enough to execute it. Most importantly, don’t let praise go to your head, and don’t let criticism go to your heart. Especially if you got that critique from a stranger on the internet.
20 // Sometimes we don’t get it till we live it.
Sometimes we have to face the consequences to really understand something. And that’s okay. Sometimes that’s just how we learn things best. You can be taught, and you can be warned and you can be advised, but all of the wisdom and warning in the world won’t quite make it click in an actionable way. Ask for the experiences that will make it click.