Social media is known for being fake, essentially a collection of people’s highlights and what they’re having for lunch. Studies have shown that people who spend an excessive amount of time on social media are more prone to depression. It’s a great place to go if we want to feel like our insecurities are being exploited. But what if, instead of trying to hide our insecurities, we just got real about them? Being genuine and authentic is at the core of my company’s DNA. For me that means being real about what I’m doing, and who I am. And sometimes it means fighting the temptation to present an image of something or someone I am not. There are three big temptations that I struggle with, and regardless of whether or not you are an individual or a business, three big temptations that you should avoid if you want to have a healthy relationship with social media.
Photo Credit: G.D. Interesting fact about this image. I saw my chubby cheeks and thought, “I want to slim down my face.” Can you believe that? For a post about getting real on social media, I wanted to alter my appearance to look better. For the record, I didn’t, and I told myself that what you don’t see in this image is the sore muscles from my workout yesterday, and the fresh helping of motivation to be healthier.
TEMPTATION TO PUT FORTH A SHINY IMAGE OF PROFESSIONALISM
Being professional is important in business. That being said, you can be professional without being impersonal and stuffy. I think we put such an emphasis on professionalism that we lose our personal touch. We bottle up our personalities and put it where nobody can find us. When I am at a wedding, I always conduct myself in a professional manner, but I also strive to be personal and connect with guests. When I’m working at home, I’m likely not wearing work clothes, and if I am, its because I needed a cue to put myself in work mode. Most of the time I’m working in my pajamas, because that’s what’s comfortable. Am I going to show up to a client meeting in my jam-jams? A wedding? No way. We have to remember that above professionals, we are also human. And sometimes humans make mistakes, sometimes humans work in their pajamas. Sometimes we go to client meetings feeling horrible and it takes every effort not to spew all over the client (true story. I didn’t land the client, but I also didn’t barf all over complete strangers, so let’s just call that a win). Why are we so afraid of looking unprofessional that we forget to be human? Do we really think a shiny, impersonal front is going to win us friends or business?
My desk in seldom neat and tidy, and I struggle with doing things I hate, like money. I had to bribe myself with candy and soda to get my finances done. Honestly, this is a smaller struggle. Every business owner has bigger struggles than this. In the beginning, finding clients can be hard. So can fighting off the fear that you’re going to fail so badly that your mistake can’t be recovered.
THE TEMPTATION TO LOOK LIKE YOU DON’T STRUGGLE
Running a small business is hard. Even in some of my photography classes that talked about the business of photography, my instructors said it took them several years, upwards of 5 years to really get something going. However, that’s all that was really said. The only time I’ve ever heard anyone talk about To me, it always looks like other people’s businesses have been smooth sailing from day one. The thing we don’t see is the struggle, and since we don’t see it, we have a hard time talking about it. This leads us to think we’re the only ones struggling. We’re not. Every entrepreneur has hard times and dry spells. Everyone has seasons of life that kick them down and then kick them while they’re down. What if instead of being afraid to show the struggle we just showed it? Maybe not on social media, but opened up on blogs, encouraging our communities and asking for help? Nobody is in this alone, be it life or business.
TEMPTATION TO COMPARE YOUR BTS TO THEIR HIGHLIGHT REELS
Individual or business, everyone struggles. Sometimes the inquiry that you received turns out to be a dead-end for you. Sometimes you hit strings of hardship in life and it just seems like you’ll never recover. Meanwhile, everyone else has these well-paid jobs and thriving businesses. Maybe you talk to friends about it and they tell you that “everyone struggles” and that “you only see what they choose to show you,” and then leave it at that. Somehow you’re unsatisfied with that answer. They look like they have it all together and you still feel like you’re still living in a chaotic mess, or at least, you don’t have it as “good” as them. While your friend offered you platitudes, there is some truth in what they said. Everyone does struggles, they just don’t show it, because they only show you what they want you to see. Nobody wants to show off their struggles or their failures. When you think they have it all together, its because you’ve already made the comparison of what you know of your journey to what they are choosing to show. What would happen if you saw their failures and their struggles? You might feel less alone. Maybe if you shared your struggles you could help someone else feel less alone, and maybe someone in your community will have an answer for what you’re dealing with. Show off what’s hard. Show off what’s kind of ugly. Post about it. Blog about it. Use any platform you have to open your door to other people to what you’re doing. Fuel the tide that lifts all ships.
The truth is that there is no small business owner or entrepreneur out there who hasn’t wondered if they’ll make it, who hasn’t struggled, who hasn’t had a hard year, who hasn’t failed in a way that makes them wonder if that was the nail in the coffin. I’ve worked with small business owners and entrepreneurs over the three and a half years that I’ve been doing this, and every single one of them has wondered if their idea would actually work. I’ve worked on startup teams and with other creative entrepreneurs and none of them are perfectly professional all the time. I’ve had meetings in bars, hung out and had editing sessions in pajamas, read tweets and blogs about how they haven’t showered in a few days, but, hey, they only have a few more hours before the deadline is met, or a few more weddings before they’re caught up. Every single one of them is intimately familiar with impostor syndrome and evaluating their own paths according to other people’s highlight reels. The one trait all of these people have that pushes back against it all is a stubborn and joyous tenacity that takes failure and struggle as a teacher, not a “dead end” sign.
Two of my most faithful workday companions.
Behind your marketing and brand identity is you. As you know, you are a human person doing business with humans. Your clients, your colleagues, your fellow business owners are not immune from struggle, insecurity, or working in sweatpants. We’re all adults. Perhaps it’s time we stop being afraid of other people’s success and start partnering with them in their insecurities, in their struggle, and in their sweatpants. Plus, we all know few things beat a faithful pair of sweatpants.